One-Minute Melee BONUS BATTLE: The Brain VS Stewie Griffin
by Orange Ratchet
Summary: As usual, the Brain makes plans to try to take over the world, but one certain infant is in his path, intending to steal the plans for himself! Will these two big-heads collide in an epic showdown none shall forget? Based off Hyper Gauge/Hyun's Dojo's One-Minute Melees!


DISCLAIMER TIME! I don't own Animaniacs or Pinky and the Brain, which belongs to Warner Bros., or Family Guy, which belongs to Fox! Any other shows, games or other forms of media that are mentioned belongs to their respective creators! I also don't own the concept of 1 Minute Melee, which belongs to Hyper Gauge and Hyun's Dojo!

If you're wondering why the 'BONUS' part of the title is there, well, this is because this is a bonus battle, and this was inspired by a match-up I saw in a fanfiction one day, and it was dated all the way back to 2001, 2002 at the latest. I don't know, I guess I wanted to see something like that again, and decided to take that old match-up and give it an update! I mean, years have passed after all! Regardless, I hope you all enjoy this little bonus One-Minute Melee battle! Anyway, enjoy!

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**1 Minute Melee!  
Just focus your minds to the fighting ways!  
Two fighters! Sixty seconds! No research! One victor!**

**_GO!_**

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**(Acme Labs)**

Ever since that announcement from Benedict Uno, AKA Father from the sky, every single character from around many worlds and dimensions were starting to worry about their well-being, most of them getting a little fearful that they could indeed meet up with someone similar and get into a fight by mistake. After all, it was one thing if it was an accident, but everybody was starting to get cautious of even stepping out of their hometowns. Some were still investigating the crack in the sky, and others were trying to get on with their every day lives...

But even they were quite fearful of Father's threat as even the superheroes of many worlds were trying their best not to start up something funny... though, there are a few that may not even get the message, and saw Father's threat as an opportunity... an opportunity to build up the fear, to get them to do whatever they desired...

As a matter of fact, as of current, in a little place known as the Acme Labs, two lab mice were currently alone as a white big headed mouse was currently drawing up plans, as the other white mouse, a skinny one, was watching a game show with the volume turned up a bit. Those two mice were none other than the Brain and Pinky respectively.

"Could you turn that thing down, Pinky! I'm trying to concentrate on our plans for tonight." The Brain called to Pinky as Pinky turned to the big headed mouse.

"Another plan to take over the world, Brain?" Pinky asked as he pushed the button on the remote control to turn it down.

"Well, you might say that." Brain gave a small smile as he nodded at his new plans. "Come close, Pinky, I have but a few details regarding this one!"

Pinky looked a little disappointed, but muted the TV as he walked over to his friend as the Brain began to point out some plans. "Now, as you may be aware, at this moment, a big crack in the sky has become quite apparent, and you certainly remember the mysterious voice that said something about fights being the main reason."

"Well, I was running on a wheel at the time... my memory is actually quite fuzzy on that." Pinky explained.

"Yes, well, I happened to listen to this, and for the past couple of days, I overheard the scientists working here saying they were quite nervous, wondering if that crack in the sky could be a reality. And well, this stroke some ideas... Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?" Brain asked his friend.

"Well, I think so, Brain, but why is it called 'The Loud House' when none of the cast in the show shout all the time?" Pinky asked.

The Brain held his head and groaned. "As usual, you don't seem to be getting the topic. No, Pinky, by using the idea of fear, I can easily roll with the tides and convince the people to join up with me. All I have to do is say the right words at the right times and before you know it, I'll be the one to rule the world!"

"Egad, Brain, that's brilliant!" Pinky gave a happy smile... before frowning. "Oh, wait... no, no... what if the crack does get worse?"

As Pinky and Brain were talking, none of them were aware of a door opening up in the lab as someone was sneaking inside.

"Pinky, what you're saying is clearly ridiculous. The mysterious voice up there obviously is trying to send us on a ploy. The odd crack in the sky is just a coincidence!" Brain gave a sigh. "I mean, come on. Two people with similar traits go into a fight against each other! That is clearly absurd!"

"Ugh, tell me about it." The mysterious figure said as he was in the process of picking up the blueprints behind the Brain.

Brain turned to the figure and nodded, "I know! It's just simply stupid!"

The Brain then turned back to Pinky as he started to talk to him, "As I was sayin-"

The mouse's eyes widened before narrowing as he immediately turned around as the figure was trying to run out the door with the blueprints. The Brain growled as he yelled, "HEY! GET BACK HERE!"

But the figure had already turned towards the door as Brain's eyes narrowed. Pinky raised an eyebrow in confusion as he asked, "Was that a baby running off with your plans?"

"Pinky, we got to tail him now! And don't try to confuse me, I need those plans!" Brain frowned as he and Pinky started to head towards the new plans.

* * *

Outside the lab, a figure was running out as he was panting. This figure was a short baby, around a year old at best. He had some black strands on his hair, and was wearing a yellow shirt with red overalls, along with white shoes. The most notable thing about this child though was the shape of his head, which happened to be the shape of a football.

"Excellent! I got those plans!" The baby gasped as he started to look them over. "Hmmm... let's see, if I can tweak it out just a smi-"

All of a sudden, the baby heard a blasting noise coming out of the lab as the small baby's eyes shrank. "Uh-oh, no time to examine these! Got to get back to Quahog and quick!"

Before the baby could pull out a gadget from the blue backpack he was carrying, a shadow appeared over the baby as the baby's eyes shrunk. The baby turned nervously to see a giant robotic man in a black business suit, which, at this very moment, was controlled by a certain mouse. In fact, the mouse glared down at the baby as the baby smiled nervously.

"Oh, hello there!" The baby chuckled nervously, before the robotic arms grabbed the baby and took him up to face level as Brain glared at the baby.

"All right, it's clear you're not from here. And it's clear you know my secret. What I want to know is... who are you and why are you here?" The Brain frowned.

The baby gave a small grin as he started to talk. "First of all, hello, my name is Stewie. Stewie Griffin. And like you, I am also a man whose desire is to rule the world."

The Brain raised an eyebrow, somehow not convinced of the baby's friendly attitude as Stewie continued. "You see, I was born into a really idiotic family. I mean, seriously, this family is just so dumb that you have no idea the antics that they have to go through. The only person I can rely on this family that I have a soft spot for is the dog. THE DOG! Needless to say, I've been getting a little tired of the nincompoops I've been dealt with."

The Brain paused as he looked down at his pocket as Pinky stuck out, wiggling his ears in confusion as he said a simple, "Poit."

"Somehow, in some strange way... I can relate to working with idiots..." The Brain said.

"Oh, you misunderstand me. I'm not working with my family. They're just merely in the way of my own conquest for world domination!" Stewie frowned as he crossed his arms. "You have NO idea how many secrets I've been keeping from them, from my own wall of weapons to even the simplest inventions. Heck, they don't even notice that I don't talk like an infant. The only one who has noticed or understood, again, is the dog! Or maybe this family does know, but they're too stupid to even acknowledge it. Anyway, even then, I knew these inventions weren't enough anymore. And I figured, if I were to rule the world, maybe I can bank off someone ELSE'S success..."

The Brain narrowed his eyes towards the small infant, frowning. "And you immediately looked up Acme Labs and arrived there to see if you could steal a perfect plan to modify it, am I correct in assuming that?"

"You are indeed." Stewie smiled. "For the past few days, I've been keeping an eye on this particular laboratory and examining every scientist inside. Imagine my surprise that, at night, you and that little sidekick of yours would come out of your cage and work up plans to dominate the world! Naturally, I wanted to wait for the right opportunity to steal one of those plans and get away with it!"

"Well, I'm afraid to say, you've made a big mistake, Mr. Stewie Griffin! Because you're not using my plans to create fear into the others because of that large crack in the sky!" The Brain called out.

"What crack in the sky?" Stewie asked in confusion.

The Brain stared dumbfounded as he pointed up in the sky as Stewie looked over. "Hmmm... you know, I noticed the large crack, but I was busy listening to modern music to find out what was going o-"

All of a sudden, the Brain immediately threw Stewie on the ground, causing the baby to yelp as the baby got up on the ground as Brain jumped out of the robot suit. Stewie screamed as he turned to the small mouse. "HOLY CRAP! IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT BABIES, BECAUSE I AM NOT- AH, GOD, I THINK I'M BLEEDING ON MY LEG!"

"Listen here, brat! I already have a perfect plan to take over the world, and I'm not letting some snot nosed kid get in the way of it!" The Brain threatened... before sighing. "Heaven knows that happened back in Elmyra's home town. Regardless, if you think you're getting this plan from under my nose, you'll have to pass through me!"

"Brain, don't get yourself hurt!" Pinky called out from the pocket, concerned as he looked worried.

"Fear not, Pinky. This won't take more than a minute." The Brain said as he went into a fighting position.

Stewie crossed his arms as he pulled out a ray gun. "Oh, so it's war, then? Very well, I'll play your little game. But if I win, you'll have to surrender the plans to me! If you win, I'll walk away as if nothing happened."

"Fair deal!" The Brain narrowed his eyes at the infant as Pinky ducked under the pocket, watching the battle.

The tall mouse started to get a little concerned as he watched the Brain and Stewie stare each other down. He knew Brain was determined, but looking at the baby, he... Pinky then started examining Stewie's head as he was starting to think about something else as the battle went on.

**SUPER GENIUSES COME IN ALL SHAPES AND SIZES!  
FIGHT!**

**(60 Seconds)**

Stewie immediately aimed his ray gun and shot a red laser blast towards the mouse as the Brain quickly slid backwards, trying to avoid the blast. As soon as the blast flew over the Brain's head, the big headed mouse frowned as he pulled out a ray gun of his own as he started shooting towards the infant. A few blasts started to head towards Stewie as the football headed child rolled aside, as the blasts disintegrated some parts of the fence surrounding Acme Labs.

Stewie gave a frown as he adjusted his ray gun aiming straight for the Brain. Upon shooting, multiple blasts came out as the Brain's eyes widened as he tried to move around a little. A couple blasts flew past the mouse, but the third and fourth blast shot the mouse right off his feet. Getting a little dazed, the Brain got up as he narrowed his eyes and started shooting multiple times at the baby as more blasts came out.

The blasts flew right over Stewie's head as he gave a chuckle. Stewie then quickly began to charge at the mouse as he grabbed the Brain, surprising him.

**(50 Seconds)**

Upon getting caught, the Brain could do nothing but scream as he found himself getting pounded down by the baby, which, as the Brain noted, he was surprisingly strong and tough.

"Ready to surrender those plans? Huh? HUH! Yeah, you ready to surrender those plans? Surrender those plans, man!" Stewie called out as he noticed a nearby sprinkler about to activate. The Brain looked confused before his eyes widened as the Brain started shaking his head, but it was pretty much hopeless.

Stewie then forcefully opened the Brain's mouth and forced them inside the sprinkler and held on as the sprinkler activated. As soon as the Brain's body began to inflate with water, Stewie kindly let go as he began to watch the mouse slowly inflate with the amount of water in his hands. Then, feeling satisfied, he pulled Brain out of the sprinkler as an assortment of water started to come out of his mouth, blasting up into the sky.

Stewie, feeling satisfied, was about to turn and pick up the plans when the mouse landed right in front of him, unharmed and more angrier than before. Stewie's eyes widened as the Brain jumped right on Stewie's head and started pulling the small strands of his hair.

**(40 Seconds)**

At that moment, Stewie felt his arms losing control as his eyes dimmed a little. "Ah. So that's how the chef in that movie fe- AH!"

The Brain pulled one strand of hair to the left, causing Stewie to punch himself in the face, followed by the Brain pulling the other strand of hair to the right as Stewie punched himself again. To the Brain's amusement, this punch-fight between him kept going on for a couple of seconds before the Brain flipped off his head and pulled out a piece of green cheese.

Quickly eating the cheese, his head started to inflate as he started to float off like a balloon as he went close to the robot suit and dug out in the pockets a small magnet. Grinning a little, he used the magnet to aim towards the device Stewie had, as it flew straight to his arms.

Stewie's eyes widened as he noticed that he was unarmed, before narrowing them towards the Brain. "You think you're so clever!"

"I am clever." The Brain said with a smug grin on his face before shooting some laser blasts towards Stewie as the boy ducked in a nearby bush.

**(30 Seconds)**

As the Brain started to aim towards the bush Stewie ducked in, he proceeded to fire at the bush, causing it to vanish. However, the Brain's ears went down as he noticed that Stewie was not vanquished along with the bush. For when the bush had vanished, behind it was a giant ship that Stewie was inside in, the baby wearing a blue helmet as Stewie waved with a smug grin.

Pushing a button inside the ship, the ship immediately shrunk down to Brain's size as it started to fly towards the big-headed mouse. Stewie pushed a few more buttons on the console as some blasts from the ship, causing Brain's eyes to widen. The mouse easily started to run from the blasts as the baby laughed maniacally before making it to the robot suit and climbing it up as fast as he could.

Once the Brain settled into the suit, he gave a nod as he started to work some controls on the suit as the robot suit started to jump up in the air as Stewie looked up from his micro-ship.

Stewie's eyes widened before pushing a button, causing the ship to grow back to regular size with him in it... but not before the Brain's robotic suit slammed its feet into the cockpit as Stewie quickly rolled out of the vehicle. Stewie narrowed his eyes as he pulled out an M2 Flamethrower as he aimed it straight for the robot. Then, with a shot of fire at the ready, he pulled the trigger.

**(20 Seconds)**

Fortunately for the Brain, the Brain noticed the shot of flames coming as he pushed another button in his robot suit, which caused the robot legs to get detracted as he started to fly up into the air. Stewie looked up in confusion as he pulled out another gun, this time, a freeze ray as he looked determined to aim it at Brain.

The Brain quickly floated around Stewie for a moment before pushing a button in his robot suit as lines of fire started to drop out of the body. The flames quickly dropped down to the ground as they surrounded the baby as Stewie looked around. Giving a smug grin, Stewie aimed the freeze ray at the flames and, in consecutive order, shot the ray at most of the fires, clearing him a path.

Stewie gave a laugh as he started to run out. "VICTORY IS MINE!"

However, that shout was short lived as the Brain slammed down on the ground next to Stewie as the infant was shaking in his shoes. Unfortunately, that slam that the robot did caused a little damage to the robotic suit, but the Brain knew it had enough juice to take on more as he dug in his pockets.

**(10 Seconds)**

The Brain quickly pulled out a yellow bomb from his pocket as he lit it up and threw it straight at Stewie as the baby's eyes widened in shock. The baby took the freeze ray and began to use it to defuse the bomb easily. But, for the Brain, it left Stewie open for an attack as he pulled out another bomb, lit it up and bounced it straight towards the infant.

The baby's eyes widened as he tried to aim the ray at the bouncing bomb, but it came way too fast for him as it blew him sky high. The Brain, seeing this opportunity, jumped out of the robot suit and ran back in the lab before coming back out with a large cannon as he gave a smirk.

**(5...)**

Stewie slowly recovered as he got to his feet, looking around... before seeing the cannon aimed right at him.

**(4...)**

The Brain had just lit the fuse, much to the baby's notice.

**(3...)**

Stewie's eyes shrank as the Brain jumped off the cannon.

**(2...)**

Stewie quickly turned around to try to get away, but...

**(1...)**

**KABLAM!**

...a large cannonball was then shot out of the cannon as it hit Stewie dead center, sending the infant screaming into the sky.

_**KO!**_

The Brain just silently watched with amusement as the baby flew clear to the sky, swearing that he heard him say, "BLAST IT ALL TO HE-" before the baby got too far away. The Brain, seemingly satisfied, gave a sigh of relief as he turned towards his damaged robot suit as Pinky popped out of the pocket.

"Narf! Wow, Brain! You certainly gave that baby a beating!" Pinky smiled... though paused. "That doesn't sound quite right in context..."

"Believe me, Pinky, the brat had it coming to him the minute he tried to steal my world domination plans. Be thankful I still had that leftover cannon from our failed 'Pirate Plan'." The Brain said as Pinky climbed out of the suit as he looked back up at the sky. "Though, I can see this baby growing up to be quite the genius, I admit. He might even be on par with me when I rule the world..."

"Unless he gets it first." Pinky explained.

"Yes, quite." The Brain frowned as he turned around... only to notice that where his plans once stood were now burned ashes from the fire he had shot out from under the robot suit earlier.

The Brain's eyes widened in horror as he ran over and looked ready to get furious. Pinky noticed as he winced. "Oh, those were your plans, weren't they? Gee, Brain, you should have really watched where you were aiming the suit..."

Before the Brain could turn around and smack Pinky...

_**CRACK!**_

The Earth shook once more as Pinky and the Brain both fell on the ground as the two of them noticed that the crack in the sky only went further... much to the Brain's notice.

"Egad, Brain! What just happened?" Pinky asked in shock.

The Brain paused as he examined the sky once again... and frowned. "You know how I told you about that mysterious voice and that these random fights happen between people with two similarities?"

"Uh... well, yes, I remember... maybe?" Pinky scratched his head... before his eyes widened. "Wait, are you telling me that the baby and you may have similarities? How?"

"I'm not quite sure yet, but I can easily say that we're both smart for small creatures..." The Brain noted. "I suppose fear monging probably won't work after all... so maybe it was best this plan got burnt before anything else happened."

"Aw, and I was looking forward to seeing you get so close..." Pinky said in disappointment.

"Well, I suppose it can't be helped. Come, Pinky. Let's get the suit back in the lab so we can get this repaired, then we can plan for tomorrow night." The Brain said as he started to head for the robot suit.

Pinky raised an eyebrow as he asked, "Why, Brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night?"

"Well, the same thing we do every night, Pinky." The Brain simply said as he raised his arm, making a declaration. "Try to take over the world!"

As the two mice decided to collect the suit, somewhere in the world, some unidentified singers sang a little ditty.

_"They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain!"_

**This melee's winner is...**

_**THE BRAIN  
**_

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**_NEXT TIME, ON SEASON 5 OF ONE MINUTE MELEE..._**

_**You wouldn't think dogs and ducks could act hostile toward one another, but unless they happened to be anthropomorphic and super-powered...  
**_

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And finally, another One-Minute Melee is done and over with! How'd you guys like it? Do you have any criticisms or good comments to say? Leave it in your reviews! Also, if you have any suggestions for One-Minute Melees, please leave it in your reviews, PMs, or if you're on Deviantart and you've seen them on my profile, comment a One-Minute Melee you'd like to see! Maybe I'll put it in my next season! Anyway, thank you all for reading this, have a great day!


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